Work hard, dream big. What if you end up just working hard and not dreaming big?

Discrepancy is a lack of agreement or inconsistency between two or more facts.[1] Self-discrepancy is “the gap between the actual self and the self-guide.” According to self-discrepancy theory, the greater a person’s self-discrepancy, the more emotional turmoil they will experience (Higgins, 1987, 1989). You might grapple with inner conflicts about your dreams, goals, or identity. It’s a call for self-reflection. 

 Common themes repeatedly surfaced when people, before they died, questioned about their regrets or anything they would do differently.[2] Here are the most frequent five: 

• “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” 

• “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

• “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”

• “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”

• “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

 Another finding observed that people were more likely to express “ideal-related regrets,” such as failing to follow their dreams and live up to their full potential.[3]

I have good news for you. You can make changes as long as you have breath in your lungs. Becoming true to yourself does need courage. I can recall many situations where I lived in denial of my true feelings and did not live the life, I thought I wanted to live. The requirement for change is to become real and say, ” I actually do not want to do this job!” for example. Or, I am actually not happy with how our marriage is going, and we need to make significant changes. Too often, we settle and compromise. 

Work can become a distraction to confront the truth and make a change. At an organizational Christmas party, every employee received pleasant, encouraging words from their oversights. When it was my turn, he complimented me with, “You’re such a hard worker!” The moment he said it, I knew I was doing something wrong, and it was NOT what I wanted to be or how I wanted to live my life. Unfortunately, it took me much longer to admit this truth and make a change.

Nevertheless, remember. You can make a change today! Ultimately, I want to say I dared to be true to myself and express my true feelings. And was not absorbed with work.

References

[1] Oxford University Press. (2022, September). Discrepancy. In Oxford English dictionary. Retrieved September 26, 2024.

[2] Ware, Bronnie. “Regrets of the Dying”. Inspiration and Chai. Retrieved September 26, 2024. 

[3] Davidai, S., & Gilovich, T. (2018). The ideal road not taken: The self-discrepancies involved in people’s most enduring regrets. Emotion, 18(3), 439–452. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000326